"UGLY FEELING" LP (2019)

by abolitionist

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    One-time pressing of 269 copies pressed on opaque purple vinyl + heavyweight matte-finished jackets! Art/layout by Craig Horky.

    Multi-label release between 1859 Records (Oregon, USA) + No Time Records (SoCal, USA) + Between The Days (Pittsburgh, PA, USA) + Different Kitchen Records!

    Includes unlimited streaming of "UGLY FEELING" LP (2019) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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1.
Coming of age in the material age had its own pitfalls. He didn't know a life of real hardship, just a life of abundance. It didn't change the fact that he knew what suffering was. He wondered what life must have been like in an untouched world, without this failed mutation. He just felt like something wasn't right; couldn't put his finger on it. Just a gut feeling. Just an ugly feeling. It didn't change the maddening fact that no one else seemed to mind.
2.
Yelling 02:12
Oh no, not again … he's fucking doing it wrong. Oh right, this again. You'd think he'd know by now. He's just not getting it. Yell a little bit louder. He's just not getting it. He's fucking doing it wrong. You'd think after so much time being on this earth, being alive, a better way would have been determined … but anger's deep inside.
3.
When he was a boy, there was a pig his parents raised … but not as a pet. He used to go to the pen to visit his doomed friend. He remembers the pungent smell. He remembers the friendly noise. He remembers the coarse, fibrous hair. He remembers a feeling of loss. Carved into the long dried concrete is the cruelly worded name of the friend that he would consume in the shadow of ignorance.
4.
Crossroads 01:52
He never joined the right clubs. Whose fucking fault was that? Always at the crossroads of any given path. What can you really do when you're at the crossroads? Pick the path that feels right, then you can never lose. Was it personality? Was it circumstance? Was it a case of low self-esteem that made him want to fight back? 
5.
World Inside 02:18
There's a world inside every human's stupid mind that reinforces all the fucking shit based on a shared lie. Around thirteen years of age, he realized he didn't buy into it. That's such a short amount of time to feel like you're sort of fitting in. Blame the rural life. Blame the nineties. Blame the punk rock. He just couldn't relate …
6.
Ugly Feeling 01:19
He just had an ugly feeling. He just couldn't relate. He just couldn't blah blah blah (isn't being a white boy great? Ugly feeling. To be honest, it wasn't all that bad growing up in the rural life … being shredded by the eggshells of an unhappy marriage of two imperfect souls living an imperfect life in a spoiled, dying world.
7.
He never knew better, but that's just an excuse. He tried hard all the time, just not every time. The selfish gene. Fuck this selfish gene. When you're born into it, it's hard to see the problem for what it is. Don't worry … you've got your whole life ahead of you. Is it the byproduct of patriarchy to consider only yourself? Or maybe just a human thing?
8.
Shelter 01:58
It wasn't too bad living in "the sticks", surrounded by the trees and the loneliness. Under the iron fist. Under the threat of violence. Always close to the precipice. Always safe inside the shelter. The old man had once been young, but he'd grown up too fast. He had spread that seed too soon ...
9.
Fucking over it. The fighting, controlling. Fucking over it. He could feel the tension corroding his soul. This family affair isolated, but hidden in plain sight. Berating, dissuading. Stifling in its misplaced love. What can you do when it's all you know? When it's all you've learned? How do you let it go? This family affair. Fucking over it. This family affair. Would he ever move past it? Did he ever most past it?
10.
Deep Ecology 02:22
He must have been fifteen when his world just changed. Never had thought about it, how much the world was made to bend and break to the whims of a profit-driven humanity, to a financial stake. He doesn't remember how he came to see the world around him for its own intrinsic worth. Not blinded by culture. Not blinded by greed … or the distractions of modern technology. Can't put the genie back. Welcome to a lifetime of disillusionment.
11.
So what now? What would be his path? All these powerful feelings, driven by an ugly feeling. Why can't he just relax? Why does he give a fuck? But then again, why doesn't anyone else? When he looks ahead, he wants to make a change. Be a force for good in the world, before it's too late … but little does he know, he's pissing in the wind. He's alive in such a weird time. It's full speed ahead.
12.
Walls 03:04
When it came time to get outside his little bubble, he finally felt alive. When the walls came down. He knew he did not have a clue, but he felt like he had so much to do. He changed his diet and he to tried change his ways. When the walls came down.

credits

released April 15, 2019

recorded November 17th + December 15th-17th (2018) at Supernatural Sound Studios in Oregon City, Oregon by Rob Bartelson mixed/mastered January 28th & 29th + February 14th (2019) at Supernatural by Rob Bartleson

lyrics/arrangement by Dustin Herron (ASCAP, 2019); music by Abolitionist

art/layout by Craig Horky

ABOLITIONIST:

Dustin Herron (vocals, guitar)
Jeremy Dunlap (lead guitar, vocals)
Joey Mohler (bass, vocals)
Sean Rule (drums)

abolitionist.bandcamp.com
craighorky.storenvy.com

THANKS FOR LISTENING

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abolitionist Oregon

punk rock from the muck of oregon

active 2009-2019 (currently on indefinite hiatus)

check out Dustin's solo project:

dztn1980.bandcamp.com

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